8-minute read time.
Today’s post is a guideline for the questions I asked during the interviews I have given recently. When approaching the topic of hoarding, I think transparency is of the utmost importance, and if posting these questions helps my sources feel more comfortable talking to me, I am happy. Of course, the conversations usually don’t follow a linear structure, and I tend to ask more spur-of-the-moment questions, but this is usually how it goes. My question for my readers is this: Am I missing anything? Are some of these questions inappropriate?
For adult children of hoarders who grew up in the hoarding:
- What is your name?
- What are your pronouns?
- Where are you from?
- Where did you grow up?
- Which parent are we discussing today?
- What is your parent’s name?
- Is your parent still alive today?
- Does your parent work/did they work?
- Did you grow up in the hoard?
- What do you define as hoarding?
- How early do you remember noticing that your home was different from others?
- Was there a specific moment or event that made you aware of your parent’s hoarding?
- What sorts of things did your parent hoard?
- Were there any safety concerns like fire hazards, structural damage, or pest infestations?
- Did they have pets, and how were the pets affected by the hoarding?
- What was your social life like as a child?
- Were there specific situations where the hoarding caused you embarrassment or stress?
- What emotions or labels did you initially associate with your parent’s behavior before understanding what hoarding is? How about now?
- How has the hoarding affected your day-to-day interactions with this family member?
- At what point did you realize that hoarding is more than a behavior but a mental health disorder?
- Did you ever experience conflicting feelings toward your parent? Did you reconcile these?
- Do you cherish aspects of your family member’s behavior or personality despite the hoarding?
- What strategies did you use to cope with living in a hoarded space? What tools/practices help you cope?
- Did you create any safe spaces either at home or elsewhere?
- Have you ever experienced any health issues from the hoarding?
- Did you try to find information on hoarding or mental health as a child or teenager? How did that search go for you?
- Have you ever felt compelled to contact outside help, such as Child or Adult Protective Services, for either yourself or your parents?
- Were there ever legal or community issues related to the hoarding (e.g., housing violations, complaints)?
- How did you balance trying to help or clean versus respecting your parent’s attachment to the clutter?
- Were there any moments when you tried to discuss the issue with them directly? How did they respond?
- What would your ideal resolution or progress look like if your family member were open to it?
- How did other family members respond to the hoarding? Were there disagreements among family members about how to address the situation?
- Did your family ever try to intervene as a group? What was the outcome?
- How has your relationship with your parent evolved?
- What are the biggest misconceptions about hoarding, especially from outsiders?
- What do you wish more people understood about the emotional and mental toll of hoarding?
- How has growing up in a hoarding environment shaped your identity or values?
- Have you ever sought therapy?
- When did you first join the Facebook support group?
- What advice would you give to others experiencing similar challenges with a hoarding parent?
For adult children of hoarders who did not grow up in the hoarding:
- What is your name?
- What are your pronouns?
- Where are you from?
- Where did you grow up?
- Which parent are we discussing today?
- What is your parent’s name?
- Is your parent still alive today?
- Does your parent work/did they work?
- Did you grow up in the hoard?
- What do you define as hoarding?
- How early do you remember noticing that your home was different from others?
- Was there a specific moment or event that made you aware of your parent’s hoarding?
- What sorts of things did your parent hoard?
- Were there any safety concerns like fire hazards, structural damage, or pest infestations?
- Did they have pets, and how were the pets affected by the hoarding?
- What emotions or labels did you initially associate with your parent’s behavior before understanding what hoarding is? How about now?
- Were there specific situations where the hoarding caused you embarrassment or stress?
- How has the hoarding affected your day-to-day interactions with this family member?
- At what point did you realize that hoarding is more than a behavior but a mental health disorder?
- Did you ever experience conflicting feelings toward your parent? Did you reconcile these?
- Do you cherish aspects of your family member’s behavior or personality despite the hoarding?
- What strategies did you use to cope with the hoarding? What tools/practices help you cope?
- Have you ever experienced any health issues from hoarding?
- Did you try to find information on hoarding or mental health? How did that search go for you?
- Have you ever felt compelled to contact outside help like Adult Protective Services for your parent?
- Were there ever legal or community issues related to the hoarding (e.g., housing violations, complaints)?
- How did you balance trying to help or clean versus respecting your parent’s attachment to the clutter?
- Were there any moments when you tried to discuss the issue with them directly? How did they respond?
- What would your ideal resolution or progress look like if your family member were open to it?
- How did other family members respond to the hoarding?
- Were there disagreements among family members about how to address the situation?
- Did your family ever try to intervene as a group? What was the outcome?
- How has your relationship with your parent evolved?
- What are the biggest misconceptions about hoarding, especially from outsiders?
- What do you wish more people understood about the emotional and mental toll of hoarding?
- How has growing up in a hoarding environment shaped your identity or values?
- Have you ever sought therapy?
- When did you first join the Facebook support group?
- What advice would you give to others experiencing similar challenges with a hoarding parent?
For adult family members of hoarders:
- What is your name?
- What are your pronouns?
- Where are you from?
- Where did you grow up?
- Which family member are we discussing today?
- What is their name?
- Is this family member still alive today?
- Does/did this family member work?
- Did you spend time in the hoard?
- How do you personally define hoarding?
- How early do you remember noticing their behavior or that their living environment was different?
- Was there a specific moment or event that made you aware of their hoarding tendencies?
- What types of items did they hoard?
- Were there any safety concerns like fire hazards, structural damage, or pest infestations?
- Did they have pets, and how were the pets affected by the hoarding?
- Before understanding hoarding as a condition, what emotions or labels did you associate with their behavior? How has your perspective changed?
- Were there specific situations where the hoarding caused you embarrassment or stress?
- How has the hoarding affected your day-to-day interactions with this family member?
- At what point did you recognize hoarding as a mental health disorder rather than just a behavior?
- Have you ever felt conflicting emotions about this family member because of their hoarding? How have you processed or reconciled those feelings?
- Do you cherish aspects of your family member’s behavior or personality despite the hoarding?
- What would your ideal resolution or progress look like if your family member were open to it?
- What strategies or tools have helped you cope with the challenges of being in their environment or supporting them?
- Have you ever experienced health issues related to hoarding?
- Did you try to find information about hoarding or mental health? What was that process like for you?
- Have you ever felt the need to seek outside help, such as Adult Protective Services, for them?
- Were there ever legal or community issues related to the hoarding (e.g., housing violations, complaints)?
- How did you balance trying to help or clean and respecting their attachment to the clutter?
- Have you ever tried discussing their hoarding directly with them? How did they respond?
- How did other family members respond to the hoarding?
- Were there disagreements among family members about how to address the situation?
- Did your family ever try to intervene as a group? What was the outcome?
- How has your relationship with this family member evolved?
- What are the biggest misconceptions about hoarding, especially from people who haven’t experienced it firsthand?
- What do you wish others understood about the emotional and mental toll of hoarding on the individual and their family?
- How has this experience shaped your identity, values, or outlook?
- When did you first join the Facebook support group?
- What advice would you offer to others navigating similar challenges with a family member who hoards?